Making Everyone Happy: The Unreal Mindset of a School Leader

Being a leader means that you have to make decisions, and in my five years as an assistant principal, I have gradually come to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like the decisions that I have to make. Here is my story in a nutshell along with three key criteria I have developed that help me make sound decisions for my school, while dealing better with the inevitable complaints.

When I first started as an assistant principal, I wanted to make everyone happy. But as the first year went on, even basic decisions that seemed simple to me sometimes left people feeling

upset. I felt like I couldn’t win. No matter what I did, people would be upset. I even had people complain about the selection of free meal choices!

I struggled, and at times wanted to go back into the classroom and teach my third-grade students. When I taught, I didn’t have to deal with so many upset people, and the decisions I made never received the same type of backlash from 8-year-old children. What was I supposed to do?

At one point, I had a teacher approach me with a fantastic idea of hosting parent nights to inform parents what their children were learning and show them how to help with homework and studies. Since the idea addressed an important issue of parental involvement, I shared it at the next staff meeting and expected teachers to jump on board. But even before I had finished introducing the idea, a couple of staff members strongly disagreed with the idea. I believe they looked at the idea as another task to complete, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to bridge the gap of school and home. In an effort to keep the peace, I put the parent nights idea on hold. But to be honest, at that point I had just decided to bury the idea rather then do what I felt was right for the students and the teacher who shared the idea. 

Reflecting on that and other missed opportunities a year later, I began to look at the big picture and see what my main goal as a leader was. Was it to make decisions that would please everyone, or was it to make decisions that would push others to meet their potential and do what is best for kids?

I began to take time before making any decisions and see if the decision I was making was best for kids and best for our schools’ success. I also began to run my thoughts on specific decisions past individuals whom I trust and knew would give honest feedback.

Decisions are made only if they hit all 3 main criteria that I have set in place. Is the decision:

• Research-based?
• Centered in the school’s vision?
• Best for students?

If the decision hits all three criteria, then let’s roll! If not, it’s back to the drawing board. When you make a decision through this process, you will feel more confident about your decisions and able to explain your reasoning to others.

Do I still have people upset and unhappy with my decisions? Sure I do. But the difference now is, I don’t take it personally, because my decisions are not personal. My decisions are no longer about what I feel is best for the school but instead what is best for the school.

So, leaders—be leaders. Don’t be afraid to make decisions, and do not be worried about making everyone happy! Dive in and show your leadership skills. At times you will get a 9.8 on a dive and other times you will get a 3.7, but no matter the score your decision receives, you made one and you made it after making sure it was best for your school. That is the first step (or dive) into true leadership.

I end with a great quote that I heard a few years back, and it is so true: “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader; drive an ice cream truck!”
Those you lead might not light up with huge smiles and cheers every time they see and hear you—but they will know every time they see you that you are fair and have the best interests in mind when you make a decision for them, their students, and the school.

What decisions have you neglected to make because you knew it would upset some people? What steps could you have taken or still take to make sure that decision was best for your school? Who do you think you could choose to be on your “checks and balances” team because you know they would be honest with you?

Author Bio: 

Roger Gurganus is an Assistant Principal at Brownstown Middle School, a 6-7 building in Brownstown, MI. He has a passion for children and education and strives to ensure that every student is connected and feels part of the positive communities he creates. Along with creating a culture of hope and love in his own middle school, Roger also is committed to bringing hope, love and education to the children of Uganda, Africa where each summer he travels in hope of making a bigger difference in the lives of students who need it the most. Roger believes that teaching is not a job, but rather a calling and hopes that through his work, lives can be changed, dreams can become reality and mountains can be moved. 

Follow Roger Gurganus’ educational and leadership journey:
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